well, things are just getting more complicated. i had a meltdown yesterday, over txt msging thank heavens. Long story short, while he is trying to call me he gets called to his boss and is told they might fire him if his performance doesnt' get better.
This could really devastate him, his job is pretty much keeping his wits together at this point. A while ago, preA, because of a huge lie he told me he ended up in trouble at work and their superiors learned he was having an A (he told them while flustered)He got scolded and now he's afraid that's counting agaisnt him, and lately, because of the mess of me finding about the A, him racking his brains about trying to pay his debt to her without me knowing , he's been messing up more.
He admits it, that all this pain and trouble is because of the stuff he brought upon us. Part of me knows I must have some pity, but60% of me is glad he sees that his thrill has brought nothing but misery to all involved and hopes he really learns his lesson this time (apparently, last time when op tore him appart wasn't enough). I dont' relish in his suffering by any means, but I sure hope it sinks in this time. He's going to be on edge for the next 3mts of probation, and sadly, that will put a strain on his healing, thus our healing. I do understand that a job defines a man, so I plan to work hard at seeing whatever positives we might achieve and to let things unfold at their own pace even if that is 1 inch a month. Easier said than done, but he's told me he wants us to work, so I'll hang on to that. Man, this week has been so hard, my demons had the best of me yesterday, but I'm much better today.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
