He is wishing he had the freedom to come and go in life, like most WAS. But he doesn't want to let go of the best parts of his old life. Maybe he thinks the D gives him back some of the control over what he does in life.
I guess you have also heard suggestions or considered that he should know what D life really will be like. In some cases, that is basically no contact with you or the kids that choose to cut him loose. It is a tough call. If you do it too soon you could drive him further away, or force him to wake up. Impossible to know which will happen.
If you get to talk to him about communication, without tension, ask him how he wants his kids to communicate with their loved ones later in life? Does he want them to swell up in silence, or share their concerns with the person that most needs to understand. The kids learn from the parents. He is teaching them right and wrong whether he knows or not. You both need to consider that in a positive way.
