Meh, I don't think Ms hairdog is a narcissist. Nor is she bipolar. She may have bipolar tendencies, but so do I. In fact, so do most high-strung and intelligent women. Which may or may not be an endorsement. *s* If you've seen a couple of people with true manic depression it's like comparing someone prone to hypoglycemia with full-blown diabetes mellitus. She's simply a strong personality who got her own way once too often early in the marriage. If hairdog had *pushed* back hard at her first pushes, he'd be either divorced long ago or in his dream marriage. He'll find out which it would have been, if he continues his course.
Do write Nopkins, hairdog, if you haven't already. He seems to have a good grasp on boundaries while not escalating the situation more than necessary. Calm, non-inflammatory, firm, but kind boundaries, and you'll learn all you ever wanted to know about Ms hairdog. She may surprise you.
