Recipe for a Perfect Marriage

[MJontheMend]

Women thinking otherwise are 'trying to fix me.' My mistake was not maintaining true to myself, not protectin myself, and what is mine. Acting monkey is not going to attract the right woman for me.

I'm in no way suggesting that you act monkey. I am suggesting that you should integrate your Alpha with your Top. The thing that cracks me up about you, and even NOP to a small extent, is that you keep giving the other guys advice but you are both in semi-denial about your own Alpha/Puppy Dog natures. If you didn't have a lion and/or a puppy dog you would not be on this BB. Post this on your monitor: I WANT TO LOVE AND BE LOVED BY A WOMAN. I thoroughly agree with you when you say

Ill stick with choosing to love, the other is to analagous to 'stepping in it' its hard to scrape out when your shoe tread is deep.

After all, I'm becoming a reasonably self-aware dopamine fiend now that I'm done with being needy for sexual validation. Here's what I plan on doing. First, I'm going to choose to love someone and then I'm going to let myself "fall in love". If I choose poorly obviously I will suffer but that prospect is a heck of a lot better than the prospect of going through life without someone with whom I can fall in and out of love and desire.

What?? Your right I have no clue about my brethern, and I think I do ok, cause I love getting women to talk about previous lovers. Whatever. ...maybe they dont go down on women because they dont want the woman to fall in love with him???...I dont care, whatever. Sucks to be her. If I liked bj's I would be like 'chop chop, get down there.'

LOL- I always just assumed that guys gave head either because they thought it was a good "warm-up" or trade for getting head themselves or that they just really "loved" something that I don't exactly equate with being "me" (unlike Cemar.) I actually prefer manual as a warm-up but it's not a strong preference. I just feel like my nerve endings get a little more shot with the head. Obviously, varies due to factors such as the guy's style, experience and beard growth.

NG was delighted that I made him tarts but it was very hard for me to do it because I view the "cow" part of my personality as very sexually unattractive now
Dont do it then. I had a girl show up at my place with lunch... ummm. weird. especially after I told her I would call her when I woke up. Which is code for DO NOT wake me up.

I think I just start to feel kind of obliged after a guy feeds me a lot to offer up something. There's a fine line between being a brownie-dropping cow and being a polite guest who brings dessert or a bottle of wine.

It's like the assumption is made that the woman is just lying there passively waiting to either be f*cked or made love to yes. women who I consider to be LD -my version- not the BB version- and the majority, just go passive and receptive in the beginning. When I first got D, I picked most of my dates based on that, trying to understand better LD women. In the past I always went with the dopamine junkies, not intentionally, just due to pysch equivilancy. LD's want you to just do what you want, (referance haps comments) so they can know where they stand. They either have no preferance -or none that they know of.

I acted a bit LD when I was young simply because I was too shy sometimes to actually verbalize what I wanted. However, the second time I actually had sex, I arrived for the encounter with grape jelly applied where I wanted his tongue. I read WAY too much Cosmopolitan when I was a young teenager. I can't imagine possibly feeling guilty about my early sexual behavior because so much of it just makes me want to laugh hysterically when recalled. My sister unearthed a picture of a guy who was one of my early lovers recently. Curly blond mane, tan bare chest and biceps, wearing a leather vest and tight faded Levis, staring into the camera with a hard look. Heck, if I was 16 I'd do him again but I wouldn't do his adult equivalent now. I guess I've gotten soft with age, use and the discovery that I'm not bullet-proof.

This will make OT happy to hear me admit, but I couldnt tell if she was O'ing because she was so over the top. Resolution and quivering legs, loss of verbal ability and inability to stand suggest yes, but she was really so... somatic, physical, I was skeptical. I never thought I would say a woman could be too loud and physical. So I wont say it. Still. It could never be maintained. Not by me. Maybe Im getting old.

LOL- I very frequently verbalize before orgasm. I can't help it and don't bother to try to stop myself. It's kind of like how you can't help swearing when you stub your toe. I never know what I'm going to say but usually it is something out of a standard but ever-changing vocabulary. Just like how I might blurt out "Damn it!" when I stubbed my toe but I wouldn't blurt out "Taco!" Unfortunately, if the orgasm is coming on really "tight" for me, I tend towards saying "Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.." which I don't like hearing myself say so it distracts me. Lots of the time it's "Don't stop, don't stop.." which is usually accompanied by some sort of frenzied movement of my right hand. Everybody's all time favorite is "I'm going to come all over you!". I have no clue where that came from or really even what it means.

I think you should. often a nice guy is hiding a core of strength, that manhandlers are missing and demonstrate by their shifting attentions. Its all about your perception and your ability to handle yourself, which is admittedly... \:\/ ;\)
Are you visually attracted to him?
What happened to your aspiration to date various men?

I understand exactly what you are saying and I will tell you straight-up why you are right, yet wrong. If I date a man who is a "nice" guy who isn't in touch with his top and hasn't integrated it, he will treat me like a whore. Sad but true. If the elements of basic attraction are in place, I am often able to feel desire for men who are far more "nice" than "top" but they end up despising me for being attracted to whatever top they are in possession of because they want to remain in denial and dis-integrated. Therefore, I can only safely date a guy who is only "nice" if I fake being more bunny than I am, consciously dis-integrate myself, and if I do that I will end up stone cold LD and my monkey will be mean as hell. Therefore, I will not date a man I perceive to be pure Teddy Bear. BTDT and it has S*CKED (mostly for me because I'm not a faker and that is why I have never been LD)

Pretty much I have to find a man who has mostly accepted and integrated his top and his alpha too. Do you happen to know 3 of those guys? Actually, NG was pretty darn close. He was really a sexual healer for me. Too bad I don't have my act together yet.