Exhausting is the word. I'm having a hard time deciding if I'm interested in staying in M. Have no interest in working on M-saving goals, so I'm just focusing on my own goals. It's working so far, of course with the usual ups and downs in mood, but not the same crying all the time like last time, thank goodness. Doing nothing right now can't hurt the sit.
When I try to work the goal-setting chapter of DR, I just get disgusted by my own focus on H, so I'm leaving it alone for now. I'm tired of it being always about him.
It is either MLC or H just being extremely selfish, which he is. He's not a spiteful or malicious man, wasn't last time either, but he has always been supremely self-absorbed (gets it from MIL!).
H has turned 'masking' into an art form - all of his sibs do it too. I believe that showing your true feelings was and is just unacceptable in his family. Anything unpleasant is generally avoided. His parents hardly acknowledge or seem to be conscious of the fact that he is an alcoholic. FIL/MIL always brought beer or wine into our house when they visited. But H always thought his parents/family were perfect, although in the last few years he seemed to be realizing that they were not, as is no one. In fact their increasing frailty and MIL's behavior (I think dementia) is probably just another trigger for him.
And think about this story:
MIL has told me several times "you'd be surprised which one of my kids had the worst temper" She said H, but then she sat him down one day and explained to him how he couldn't be that way, and he was very good after that. So I asked her how old was he when they had that talk, since it worked so well. SHE SAID HE WAS 3!!! I can't begin to imagine what she said to him, but boy does he have a problem showing anger, and dealing with anyone else who does either.
Still no contact since Monday. I think this is the longest we've ever gone without contact in 17 years.
I'm trying to catch up on everyone's threads, but I must admit it's confusing - well I'm also easily confused.
In4ride Me 50, H 55, M 17 yrs 1st Bomb Drop 12/7/03 Separated mostly in house Come back together/H breaks back 9/04 Piecing, surgeries, recovery, H retires 2nd Bomb Drop 9/3/07 H moves out 20 min later
