Do you mean that you have to be petted enough to relax or trust the man before you can O? For me petting is soothing and I like it before sex but I seek more excitement than calming in order to orgasm.
I used to think that I needed to trust the man before I could O. I don't think it has anything to do with the guy. I need to know I trust myself before I can O.
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When I want to be pinned down, I want to be rendered vulnerable..... I don't want to think about him being turned on by a situation in which I feel frightened
Nod... nod. People bond when they are scared. If I were having some kind of 'in the foxhole together' kind of sex, I would probably O, and they would probably be very intense, and I wouldn't even have to know the guy's name.
When I say, 'in the foxhole together kind of sex,' I'm thinking of a highly charged situation, usually full of a great deal of fear or perceived fear... and a man and a woman find themselves sort of thrust together... like Hawk Eye and Hoolihan when they ended up having sex that one time, on M.A.S.H.
Hm. So it's easy for you to manufacture 'in the foxhole' responses in yourself to create sexual satisfaction (easy Os), as long as you feel safe in knowing the guy isn't onto you.
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So what I am trying to figure out is how to take responsibility for rendering myself vulnerable which is really kind of a tricky thing to wrap the mind around and impossible to achieve if you equate vulnerable with weak.
Well. In my personal opinion... being vulnerable is anything but weak. I think it takes a great amount of strength to do it... but it takes a great deal of honesty and trust with self. At least, that has been my experience. It's kind of cool...
... and yes, I can manufacture that with alcohol... or anything else that renders the self-defense mechanism useless...
but I won't O.... it is really, really, really hard for me to O if I've been drinking. If I don't feel like figuring it all out, and I don't feel like pushing myself to BE vulnerable... I'm okay with that. I just don't want to kid myself, either.
