Thanks for your post. I have thought a lot about my sitch, and I can honestly say that my marriage was extremely happy. Yes, my h was damaged by a rotten childhood, but not to the extent of being mean to me or the kids. it was more an underlying lack of self esteem, and a tendency to be depressive.
However, I do recognise that I was an enabler, and that we developed a degree of co-dependency.
Yes, my h has turned into his father, but I do see signs that he is SLOWLY working his way through the tunnel. Snails pace, and in some ways stranger than just post bomb. [It is coming up to 2 years now]. For example, he is now recognizing the damage he has caused to his children, and trying to build some real bridges. He has got his own apartment, and is starting to rebuild a life that seemed to go on hold . . . . Will he continue, or get stuck at a point at which he feels comfortable enough? I don't know.
I hope he emerges, because the person he was, was pretty good, and the person he now is seems diminished, from the perspective of most people that know him. Sort of half a man if you know what I mean. But we all have to live our lives in our own skin. I have learnt that much!
