Oh, I do turn around sometimes and have a momentary lapse, like this is all some nightmare that I am going to wake up from. I need to remember the zen reference. And I would definitely move to another state if that's what it would take. He keeps saying that he will never live farther away than 5 minutes from his children...I may use that someday.
OK, so I was really down, last night into this morning. But spoke with a friend, and it seems to have passed. I am looking forward to having a good time today, and feel like I got some of those down feelings off of my chest for the time being.
I can also relate to being taken aback by this whole other life that H is experiencing--it is so bizarre.
He has said a few times things that really match with the DBing principals, and I have to focus and take them to heart.
1--My crying and desperation is very unattractive (actually said those words!, along with: Would I want to come home to this?)
2--The need for time and space; R talks just make him feel guilty
