NDDT - what are you trying to accomplish? This sounds like it is just for you - so that you can put some stuff out there. If that is what it is for..that is fine. Just realize that doing so, you will most likely push her further away.
I'm going to let you in on something...you have a D right? Well...as a toddler...if you took her to the playground and she started run away - what would she do if you chased her? She'd probably keep running right? But what would happen if you stood there or even turned around? If you showed enough paitience...she would most likely come after you.
Now, I'm not saying that your wife will turn around if you do...but if you keep chasing her with R talks...she's going to keep running.
