DONNA--finding herself #16

[mkultra]

I don't know what he means by time. Maybe your H does need to sort through his life but when a MLCer tries to sort through their life they make a bigger mess for everyone else to clean up so it is too painful to watch. Like a slow moving train wreck. I read on another site that some couples need to physically move to another state just to heal from an affair. That it is highly advisable to leave the whole affair behind to move on. My friends have just done this in order to reconcile. The wife needed to get her WS away from his unsavory transitional friends who allowed hm to whore around on the weekends. WS have to keep convincing themselves they are done. We cannot change their minds with words only actions. The more we argue the more defensive they get of their lives. Our actions must be 180s and GAL and PMA. We need to be zen about this and just agree and listen. That is really hard in our sitch because, for me, I do not know if I have entered into emotional abuse teritory or if I am in denial. How about you? You sound stronger than me as I have gone very dark with H. My goal is one email per week and I am transfering drop offs to my brother's home from now on.

It is interesting how you said time moves slowly. I feel like my life is quickly slipping away before my eyes. Part of me cannot believe my H has experienced an entirely different life away from me in this short span of time. It feels like we just had a fight a few nights ago and we haven't made up yet. But, no. He has already mapped out an entire future with a practical stranger.