Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
W's BFF had a crisis of sorts yesterday morning. She had to go to the emergency room and called W to take her as her H kind of brushed her off. She is a lot like me, too emotional and worse than me in terms of manic behavior so crying wolf so to speak and the lack of response is understandable. W does not call me to tell me this, turns out it was a real emergency and I was geniunly concerned for her so would have like to have know this was going on. They are good friends. I grilled her a bit on why she did not call me, actually said it was disappointing that she did not call and inform me as they are friends, close friends who know are sitch well.
Long story short, W basically held her hand the whole time and was actually busy when I called so, so much for me being selfish about wanting to know what was going on...another lesson learned by CVA
As Nomo and I once discussed, I dont think my W is a deep thinker (stealing Nomo!). She lives minute by minute and really does not put thought into calling someone to plan something out or whatever, its sort of like "floating" through life which I dont get of course. When I describe her (in my terms) she sounds pretty shallow and without having any purpose in life. She is actually very bright, just not so empathetic, i.e. does not wear her heart on her sleeve, more like 6' walls around it. Hmmmm, did I do that? Did I crush her spirit? Probably to some degree, I did. Another lesson learned I think
When I got home, she was "yelling", yes yelling at our D11 about homework. Of course if I were doing that it would be abuse. However, cool heads prevailed and I almost made her leave the room and helped D through the issue. She literally left the room and slammed our bedroom door. It was bad, she NEVER does this, EVER! But I think it made her realize how frustrating life can be even by the simplest things.
We ended the day really nicely with laughs around a bad homework night, again.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
It sounds like you've got tons of good stuff going on over there. It's funny---I just read the last three pages of this thread and could hardly tell that you two are having problems.
I bet she was really startled by the idea of you buying a house. It sounds so permanent. I'm sure it made her think. But I think you're right about the space. Going from a family man with a house to a 1-bdr apartment is nuts. If you can swing it, I'd go for it.
How's your PMA? If you get out there with Nomo, I bet it'll go through the roof. If I were in Texas, I'd be afraid to go to the bar!
Hey ladies! First I'd like to thank you for parusing my thread and responding, it means a lot to a lonely guy (at the moment
You hit the nail on the head NA. There is NO R talk at all and we act like H and W except for me sleeping somewhere else and no intimacy (other than back rubs).
YES, ended with a back rub.................SHIRT OFF (me not her :()
Last night got too loud with the kids and W told me to sto yelling at them. She acted super calm like she was in control and so I just apologized and said that I wasa trying to be stern and it came out wrong. Ok afterwards I think.
Ended w/ a movie and a backrub, no shirt - ahhhhh.
Hugs C
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Hey ladies! First I'd like to thank you for parusing my thread and responding, it means a lot to a lonely guy (at the moment
Great! And I know what you mean. The fact that people are willing to share in the intimate details of our sitchs alone is a huge PMA boost!
Originally Posted By: CVA
no intimacy (other than back rubs).
I don't know, that's extremely intimate in itself.
Originally Posted By: CVA
Last night got too loud with the kids and W told me to sto yelling at them. She acted super calm like she was in control and so I just apologized and said that I wasa trying to be stern and it came out wrong.
Great, something for you to work on. This is also the big 180 that I'm working on---I'm going for unflappable zen mama.
Thanks Puddle. I seem to be able to move very quickly out of the "bad" moments in my mini meltdowns and anything to do w/ W like last night. Prior to this, I would dwell which sucked cuz it would ruin the whole day / evening. No fun to be around eh?
have a good evening. Go Horns!
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Thanks Puddle. I seem to be able to move very quickly out of the "bad" moments in my mini meltdowns and anything to do w/ W like last night. Prior to this, I would dwell which sucked cuz it would ruin the whole day / evening. No fun to be around eh?
Me too! Since our R has gone south, I have become a much calmer and patient person, especially w/the kids. I wish someone would have come over and given me a good swift kick to get me to change years earlier. I hope H is noticing, but I doubt it.
I wish someone would have come over and given me a good swift kick to get me to change years earlier.
NA, my thoughts EXACTLY! I am trying so very hard to keep cool during my stressful moments w/ the girls. I'm not doing this for my H, I'm doing it mainly for the girls.
W does not call me to tell me this, turns out it was a real emergency and I was geniunly concerned for her so would have like to have know this was going on. They are good friends. I grilled her a bit on why she did not call me, actually said it was disappointing that she did not call and inform me as they are friends, close friends who know are sitch well.
