as for h stuff, it is really hard. trust me, I do much better when H is not around at all. I breathe easier after he leaves when he is here (either to pick up or drop off the kids). once I set the ground rules about no discussions about personal life, and just accepted to myself that he was living with her, I did better (as long as they spend weekends at my mil's, that is). we do have an occasional R talk, which is fruitless at best. usually when I am freaked out/upset around here, its because of one of these. when things are just status quo, as much as they suck, I do better.
I know I am trying to stop guessing his motivations, but I think storyland was pretty much solidified, at least his asking me to go. I think he just doesn't want to deal with all 3 kids on his own anymore. its HARD. its WORK. and so far he has agreed to respect no OW around them, so he is stuck...unless he wants to ask his mom along or something.
he just called, he's on his way to get the kids. wasn't sure what he was going to do with them. its going to be a hot day so finally he said he figured he'd take them to the beach (I didn't ask any of this btw). He then asked what I was doing for the day. I was vague, said I had stuff to do (won't elaborate with him, none of his business). he asked if I wanted to come to the beach. I said no. honestly, I don't want to. I do have stuff to do, and playing happy family is just too hard right now. and since I do believe his motivation is simply for help, that is not good enough to sway me. I suppose possibly for company, but folks, he is LIVING with her, for all intents and purposes. I'm sorry, I can't be the OW in his life. He chose her, and until he is ready to let that go, I will pick and choose what I do with them based on what I want to do, not just to be there everytime he asks.
will that bite me in the ass? who knows. possibly. possibly he could go ahead and involve ow with them just for the second set of hands. and that would be a rotten thing to do. but I can't live my life jumping when he asks just to avoid that, either.
could he really miss me? really want to spend some time with me along, play that happy family? maybe. who knows.
but all these speculations are a slippery slope. enough.
going to have a good day today!
Last edited by morgan; 09/08/0712:50 PM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
