Up until the revelation of the affair and him leaving, I was able to avoid R talks (to some extent) and just try to live. But it was like walking around on eggshells all of the time, and I put way too much into any small steps I thought I saw, only to be crushed over and over again with his reality. I was the one who asked him to leave to save my sanity.
But now I feel like I am going through serious withdrawal. I can manage ok when he is not around (although it is still on my mind way too often), but I am a mess when around him, or even talking on the phone.
He told me this past week that I have no concept of what "give it TIME" means. And he is right. I seem to live a week (or more) in each day. I am trying very hard to get the focus back on me, and hope that work and GAL will help with this. I also feel like I am a different person--I was so much stronger than this, before. Secure. But I guess that was the down-side: those feelings depending on an outside source. Now, I have to find them again from within.
