Thank you for posting with so much honesty. I confess taht I did wonder why you didn't reconcile: now I can see why. You sitch is fairly similar to a good friend of mine who also suferred years of mental [and at times physical] abuse. She said that you start to believe, in a weird way, that you must deserve it if it is happening to you, and it isn't until you get away from it you realise how sick the perpetrator is.
Your post has made me realise that our survival and integrity as people is the real goal.
