Can I take your confidance away in scientific areas?
Why not?


Yeah well my confidence in matters scientific doesn't help me in my M

That wasnt my point. There is a reason no one can take your confidance from you at work. When you figure out what it is, you can start applying it to other areas of your life.
It has to do with hard work, doing what needs to be done regardless, and being rewarded. in other words, BTDT, got the merit badge.

I said: That just seems to happen a lot to me.
You said: Whats wrong with this statement?


Lack of a feeling of control of the situation

so how do you change your perspective to feel in control? Things rarely happen to us. We make choices and decisions that lead to consequences. The quickes way to empower yourself is to stop using Defence Mechanisms
and start owning everything you do.
For example, when at the age of 18 you find yourself sitting in the waves of the sea of cortez disgorging your innards after imbibing copious quantities of alcohol de agave, you could
1. pray to god to help you and stop this, and promise to never do it again
2. curse a man named cuervo who lived in 1800, for not providing a detailed users guide with his product.
3. Curse your countries laws from preventing you from not having a better social environment of teaching moderation
2. realize that yeah you are probably going to do this again, and false promises to Dieties are not good karma, remind yourself what a fantastic Bday you just had, but that possible you were a little ignorant of alchohol and volume, and in the future some experimentation and clinical self observation is in order. you play you pay. get your wallet out and quit grippin.
*ralph* (Lord, I know you know, but this really sucks. Just needed to say that outloud. Thank you for my liver. ) *wash of waves*

But I wasn't aware of my anger, and I have been making an effort to be more positive in my interactions toward her.

There you go. That is why it was placating/supplicating. Your more concerned with the OP feelings then with you own. Instead of living in the moment, and feeling yourself acting authentically, you are twisting yourself trying to get a reaction. Attachment to the outcome, instead of being you and letting the chips fall where they may, because even if they fall away, you know you have more to play with. You can have a desired outcome, and work towards that bravely, you can hope for the best and assume good will, but attachment to the outcome will mess you up. Fear from failure/loss will enter.
having zero attachment to the outcome is not always good either.

If your W said tonight, Im sick of having sex with you. Im done with it.
What would you do? How would you react?
This is a trick question.


I would like to say that I would insist on MC or else D, but I would probably just get really hurt and withdraw.

You have no boundary then. Having PMA is great for attraction, (entertaining monkies) but it has no chance at success when faced with someone with REAL boundaries. (lions) Remember Leo?
PMA cannot be maintained when your unwilling to stand up for you own wants and needs.
Boundaries are easier to implement when you have a plan.
Pilots train endless so that their body does what it is supposed to when the SHTF. They have a checklist and a plan.
Failing to plan, is planning to fail.

me kicking your a$$ in pool, call it my version of a pep talk. LOL. LMAO.

Really? I thought it was obvious. So I guess not only do I not know what I'm feeling, when I do, nobody else does. Great.
 Hap responded to your aplogy with a "HUH?" so no it wasnt obvious. I can imagine you ripping of a string of sarcastic question in irritation, now, but at the time I thought you were being sincere and just asking too, which did strike me as odd.

saying that her comments pissed you off and that you thought what she said was an unfair division of Marital labor, would have been direct and sincere.

Do you KNOW your W wants to be caught?


No I don't.
Well then, I guess between this and boundaries we have the source of our problem. You know how to recognize attraction, time to take that ability, strip off the defensive fear and, see that yes your W absolutely positively wants you to catch her.


Cobra I got your meaning. But your still a jerk. ;\) lol.