Thanks guys. I think what I'm going for is being firm (not angry or mean, but I want to come across as very clear about what I'm saying---not timid or wishy-washy) and friendly.
And NA, when I asked H to keep his dating activities and phone calls out of the house---again, not not to date at all---and he said it was unreasonable, I said laughingly, "Okay, how about I agree I won't bring anyone here either?" He said, "I don't care." And boy did he sound like he meant it.
He's a million miles ahead of me in all this. And I'm not sure if I've made this clear here or not, but H swears his wanting out has nothing to do with our R, he simply doesn't want me. Period. I'm baffled that he reached this point this fast, but he has. And I'm the tortoise to his hare.
H is reading "The Good Divorce," all about how to remain a "binuclear family" after divorce. See, I'm just not there yet, and it's going to take me months (at least) to catch up.
And I sent the COW (thanks, NA!) an email saying, "Thanks for writing; it can't have been easy. I'm doing well and will be fine. H will choose his own path. Sorry we couldn't be friends. I wish you well. Take care."
Now H is out for the evening, and I'm taking the kids out of town tomorrow. Between now and next Thursday, we'll only be home Monday evening. At least it'll give me some more time to figure out what to say.
