<Journaling> Labor Day weekend was not very good for me. I backslid a bit and much of the momentum came from the W. It got off on a bad foot because I give too much consideration to her.
I had been planning to take the boys (S6 and S2) camping at a nearby state park. At first the W was very supportive of me getting back into camping and introducing my sons to its joys. But the Wednesday before, she began to express reservations about our S's being too young, and too much of a handful, especially for tent camping. I immediately performed a 180 on her and said maybe she's right, especially S2.
I then quickly said that maybe we could slowly introduce the both of them to camping by setting up the tent in our backyard (of our house where W resides with MIL). It would be far more safe and contained than out in one of the local camping grounds. W immediately protested the very thought. She said that Friday was out of the question, but Saturday might be all right, she'd have to think about it.
Curious, I gently asked why, recalling that the MIL was going to be out-of-town. W hemmed and hawed and finally said that she did not want our S's to get the idea that my camping with them in our backyard constituted their daddy returning back into the household. (WTH??? It's my house too!)
I told her okay and dropped the matter. She tried to compromise by saying I could take just S6 to the state park's camping grounds and leave S2 with her. I declined; while I think S6 and I could use some quality time together, just F and S, I have been reluctant to give back any time with either of them to W, 3-day weekend or not. I enjoy them too much to give up what little I get as it is.
So as a backup plan, I used a smaller tent and set it up in the middle of the living room of my apartment. All three of us had a blast, and I am able to begin training them in a safe and (very) controlled environment, without the W being too concerned.
As for the W, I knew what was going down, however. I'm not stupid, and I saw immediately through her back-peddling about not wanting me there Friday -- but somehow Saturday was a possibility? And I didn't need S6 asking his mother where she was when she made her regular bedtime call to them that Friday night either. Here it is, 8:30 PM (she's usually famished by 5:30 or 6), her mother is out-of-town, and she tells S6 she's out "having dinner". When he asks why, she says it's because "she's hungry", and leaves it at that.
Saturday afternoon I took the boys over to the state park to fish in the lake there -- thus the other component of a typical camping trip. None of us so much as got a bite, but 2 S had fun trying. They both were a little disappointed in not being able to bring home some fish to eat, but I think they just enjoyed being out with their F more than anything. I enjoyed the time with them greatly.
However, as we were leaving the park, around 6 PM, I noticed a couple of voicemail messages on the cellphone -- one left about 5:35 PM and the other at 5:50. The messages from W were frantic, especially the second one which was marked as URGENT. W was getting hysterical in her tone -- and because she started out saying, "I reaally need to get in touch with you..." I began thinking something tragic had happened.
I listened further and realized W was hysterically overreacting at not being able to get ahold of us when she called both times. She accused me of purposely setting the phone to go directly to voicemail so as to avoid her and prevent her from speaking to "her" S's. She actually threatened to call out the lawyers on me. She then said that now the cellular bill was in her name, the cellphone I was using was now "hers" and she was going to take it and make it the property of S6, so her sons would always have access to their mother. My jaw was in my lap and my exasperation and anger rising. I kept my cool though.
I called her back and calmly told her she was way over reacting. I told her where we had been, fishing, and that she had even encouraged it when I told her of our plans early that morning. I told her I was not happy with the accusatory tone of the messages she left and that, while I understood none of this that has been happening to us was easy for her either, she had very little grounds in charging me with actions she deemed untrustworthy. I told her she had scared the living h*ll out of me and that now I was very concerned with the manner in which her mind was leading her now of days. I told her I was watching her behavior very closely now.
In the end she apologized for overreacting. But despite that she has assured me she is okay now, this outburst tells me quite a bit where her mind is now. It ain't good. I think the guilt for whatever salacious behavior she may be engaging in has caused her to crack up somewhat.
