One thing you may or may not know is families who have children with issues (autism, OCD, ADHD, tourettes, etc...) have a higher statistical chance of marital discord and divorce. I think part of this is parents often disagree on how to deal with it. That adds a lot of strain to the marriage. Add in crazy work schedules, busy child rearing, lack of mom and dad time together, friendship, dating each other, etc... and you have a pretty dreary situation.
By the way, my husband and I have had a lot of disagreement over how to deal with my son's issues. Even though I don't introduce my son as having autism, I have done other things in the past that have made my husband very angry (differences of opinion on dealing with OCD or sensory issues, a med trial I enrolled my son...). These things did have a huge impact on the marriage. On the other hand, I don't think it absolves the person having the affair of what they are doing. It just helps make it easier to understand.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
