When's it my turn?

[SDFoundGirl]

Hey SD, I hope you weren't offended by my post - please understand I'm just trying to help. Thinking of you!

Oh no! I'm sorry I haven't posted here guys, but I assure you it wasn't because of the (much needed) 2 x 4s launched my way. No, not at all! I actually read your responses and chuckled to myself because you were so dead on.

I was feeling sorry for myself and a little jealous that he could summon up energy and excitement for going out with these people (of which LW was a member) but not for me. He's been laaaaaame in that department. Even me, dead tired and anxious about returning to work, was still in GAL have fun and be distracted mode. So yeah, that ticked me off.

Then, I get home, tired, dreading carrying the grocery bags in and just wanting some kind words and snuggling before I had to work all night. And H was happy party boy leaving me in my wretchedness!

All is well here. I realized *just* how extremely tired I was when H came home that night and proceeded to wake me up 3 times...I broke down into tears and sobbed. Poor H, he felt bad that he'd done things unintentionally to wake me, apologized and comforted me, then did so again in the morning.

But...yeah, something *is* up. Maybe not with us...but something is wrong anyway. And I have to let go of it, because if he's going to choose to suffer alone, that's his choice.

I made it through my first week back and have loved EVERY moment. I've been true to myself and done exactly what I think is best for kids. No parents have come to storm the castle, and a few actually thanked me for the more unconventional things I'm doing this year. (Like, little homework and then more experiential and some other things) Everything in my world has provided evidence that what I'm doing is right. My kids are great, and we had a fantastic week together.

Now what I need is sleep...and prep periods! The kids don't start their electives until next Monday, so I haven't had any prep time...so I've been working all evening when I get home and teaching waaay more classes than I usually do. Sleep and free time will be nice!

Sorry to worry you, but thanks for your honesty and support. What would I do without you?

SD