LFL was just upset because her H and I both act like doormats and she was taking it out on me, in her own sweet way.
Well, you and my H are similar in many ways so maybe there was some transference going on there. But I feel good about where our M is going and I truly want you to be happy too. I see how the "doormat" behaviors of my H's past led to all sorts of problems and hate to see you carrying out those behaviors yourself. Thus, my tirade about throwing the computer across the room listening to too many "sorrys" from you. And obviously your tendency to catastrophize every negative thing you hear doesn't help. You are a great guy. You are a very smart man. You are a respectful and respectable person. You have all the ingredients to make your M work. Your W is lucky to have you. Now you just have to believe that and act accordingly. Even with all your mistakes. I have to believe that. My H has to believe that. Otherwise, we will not respect Ourselves. And if you can't respect yourself, like yourself, be good to yourself, you cannot be good to your spouse. Can you believe I'm still learning all this crap?
And obviously your tendency to catastrophize every negative thing you hear doesn't help. 