Okay, two things. First, I realized why I'm hung up on the conversation I'm expecting to have with H re him wanting to be able to date women IN the house.
I've been struggling with how to word my position, and anticipating his response.
So what I figured out is that I think to draw a clear boundary, I have to say "I want this, and if you can't agree *I* will do this..." I've been going around and around with "I want this, and if you can't agree, *you'll* have to...." which is why I kept thinking he'd experience that as me kicking him out instead of him choosing to leave.
So how do I finish the "I will ______" part? I'll move out? I don't want to do that. I'll ask you to leave? I'd like him to say that.
I guess if I say I can't live in the house with him dating other women (here, not just anywhere), I have to be ready to leave if he refuses to keep them away. Or am I missing something?
Again, H isn't dating anyone. We're just setting up ground rules for living together.
Secondly, I'm considering responding to OW's email. I'm thinking something along these lines: "Thanks for writing; that can't have been easy. I'm doing well. H will choose his own path. Sorry we couldn't be friends."
