My W and I are still friendly, living life as sort of roommates, taking care of the kids, one day at a time, etc. The only unsettling exception to this groove is that I have been aware of my CLF transmogrifying into CLR (Continuous Low-level Resentment) at times. A NG trait, I believe. I wonder why she doesn't just SEE who I am, what I am doing, and sit at my feet, all sweet and sexy. The CLR spurs me to react in a typical Nice Guy/Passive Aggressive way, kind of diffident, distant, and unengaged. I realize that this is not helping my cause. If she will ever trust that I will be fully committed and engaged in our R, it will start with me NOT reacting in the same old fashion. It creates a completely predictable reaction in W. I think DIY said it best when he stated on another thread "Revenge begets revenge". Absolutely a lose-lose, unless I want to feast on the cold leftovers of my so-called "righteous indignation" and pretend I'm being fed.
OK, so the knowledge that something is bad is OK. The actions one must take regarding that knowledge...well, sometimes a bit tough.
As far as I am concerned, other than no sex, (which is bad, don't get me wrong) things are good. My plan to DO as stated earlier this week is going OK, not great. I guess you have to start somewhere. Let's see, in the past three days I have:
Worked on music: twice Worked out at gym: twice Got in bed at a reasonable hour (say, midnight): twice
Yes I do believe I see a pattern. I am reasonably good at doing at least two of three activities on a regular basis. Maybe I need to add one so I can shoot for three of four, eh?
I am thinking, based on the figures above, that I will consider the week to be a success only when I average more than 2.5 a day. Damn, no reward this week! I won't be working out tonight, my D15 is in the color guard at a big cross-town rivalry HS football game tonight. I'm taking my boys, should be great!
I have a question for one and all, but particularly any ladies who would be interested in answering:
Up until our recent (around three weeks ago) outing as referred to here:
Originally Posted By: LuckyMe!
We recently went out to a Blues show, did some dancing, had a couple of beers, and when we got home, I was relaxed, confident, and put the moves on her. Shutout. I didn't get upset, just asked her why. She said she didn't know what she felt or what she was going to do. Still not upset (thanks to this board, I maintained composure), I let her know that her indecision was hurting me. I tried not to put pressure on her for a resolution or a specific timetable, but I'm sure she feels pressured just the same.
I had been slowly getting more and more physical with my W, not too grabby, but touching her arm or waist as we passed in the hall or kitchen, laying my hand/arm on her hip in bed (like the old days), just little things. I have stopped doing any of that since that night. She has not reacted or said anything about it one way or another, but I was wondering what she may be thinking about it. Do you think she is relieved I am giving her space, or is she perceiving this as a punishment / PA scenario?
Last edited by LuckyMe!; 09/07/0706:59 PM.
LM
Lucky me, I could have been someone else FOREVER! Whew, that was close!
