Gosh, that is some story. A very wise friend of mine, whose mariage survived her h's affair said that marriage requires a daily act of commitment by both parties. I think that your story is good, and I wish you both all possible happiness.
Everyone skirted the issue or maybe you just wanted to hear success stories. I really think you wanted to know how many success stories there are. If you are talking about people reconciling with their spouses I don't think there are many. I'd guess less than 10% for sure. But I've read success stories about people that didn't reconcile but became better people as a result of this process. They could have just moved on to the next relationship without learning anything.
A lot of people on here see the signing of divorce papers as the mark of the endpoint in all this. It's over, finito, on to something else, no longer a reason to hope for anything. I dated a woman that remarried her husband two times. I've remarried my XW after being divored for 7 months and then living together for another year and a half.
But I'm a firm believer that all you can do is focus on being the best you can be and having your own fulfilling life. Your spouse either will or won't want to try again with you and who knows which it will be. You pretty much have to proceed under the assumption that he/she is done with you so you might as well become complete and happy on your own.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Please consider the number of people who have found this web site and the number of insane people on this planet. I am not sure if researchers would qualify our numbers here as a viable control set for research. We are many here, but not all stay, and we don't know a year after they leave if they ever got back together. Too bad. We would all gladly volunteer if asked.
During the upgrade of this forum it looks like many older posts were relocated or lost, if not at least deleted. But visit COG. Look for his old posts. Ask him to run a short thread on his reconcilliation. When I came here he was posting a thread called something like 'Three years and waiting'.
His reconcilliation has been ongoing for about two years. If standing for three years sounds impossible, maybe you shouldn't. Or maybe you haven't given the idea enough time. If you think a two year reconcilliation is too long after a three year crisis, I have other questions. We send young sons to fight and die in other countries every day. How long would you say a year is to them, or two? How much do you really value the years invested in your M? How can you pass judgement on your unknown future before you give yourself a chance to live it?
Ok, I am confusing myself, time for a drink. That is all.
I guess they still have not learned about 