Way to go, your even scaring me ;-). He won't know what hit him.
SueS,
Not sure I'm the best person on the A front. I did wonder for months and then W told me. IMHO, I would let them fester and suffer as they know they are doing wrong (no matter how much they blame you).
My W stated that the A was only because of my treatment of her, but some of this was (in my eyes) minor. I also can see how it would seem to her, but I cannot take all of the blame.
From my sitch, I know my W is also going through hell and I will give her support and love during that time. This is my way of saying 'I forgive you and love you.' In some ways they expect us to scream, shout and jump up and down, this then vindicates why they have the affair, by not mentioning it or even treating it as important, it cheapens the A and makes it more sordid (IMHO).
SueS, you have a good head on you, do what you think is right, not what everyone else thinks.
