Tucson or Bust, part 3

[fearless]

LFL, I agree that respect is critical in a M, but are you saying that you either have it or you don't? From my perspective, respect can be earned and if that's the case, then it follows that there are ways that can be done. Those are not the same for everyone, so if you don't like the example about wearing a shirt Mrs HD hates, then replace it in your mind with a different example for pete's sake. It's just an example of being yourself, which most people tend to respect. They may not like it, but they respect it.

I agreed with LFL because I viewed it as the difference between wearing what you want because you want to and wearing it because you know your spouse (or mom or anyone) doesn't like it and you're trying to "show them." It's just a difference in attitude. And, I think, LFL's point was that Hdog wearing the shirts in response to the latest "round" rather than Hdog choosing to wear the shirts on his own.

oops. That said I just read where Hdog started wearing the shirts 2 months ago. So great! He did it not in retaliation but as a proactive stance of choosing to wear what he wants to wear.

And for respect issue. I basically believe that if you don't respect yourself, it will be very difficult for others to respect you. Even if they like you, your disrespect of yourself will somehow affect the dynamic. If only because you will PERCEIVE they don't respect you because you'll project your own disrespect onto them. And especially because people do tend to treat people the way people treat themselves.