Tucson or Bust, part 3

[heatherg]

BTW, what do you mean by “cooperative” when you say

Oh and one more thing. If my H had been more cooperative, I'd have left his a@@. Just keep that in mind.

I meant that I would have thrown in the towel if he would not have made every single step so difficult. I wasn't ready to end the M and that's what it would have taken just to separate in our case b/c of our kids....can't file for custody when two people are still living together if no D papers have been filed. My point was that if I'd have left before I've done what I've done, things would be over instead of better.

Did I say I was taking any immediate extraordinary action? What about my post indicates that I'm not honoring myself? I think I'm doing a pretty good job of not drowning in her sh!t.

That was meant as an encouraging post HD, not as a critcism of anything you've said or done. To me, you sounded defeated and unsure of the direction you're supposed to take now. If my post did not help or make sense, disregard it because like I said, it was not meant in any way as criticism.

I actually have started wearing some shirts that I had shoved in the back of the drawer because she hated them.

Good for you. Is it possible that all her behavior is nothing more than a reaction to you being more independent? In that case, whether the M ends or flourishes, this is a necessary step and important for you to just keep on keepin on.

As for the bed issue, isn't it different for me and you? My W wants me out of the bed because, either she doesn't trust me to not touch her, or because she was upping the ante (or both). For you, I don't understand why you are STILL out of the bed. WTF? I foresee me being out of my bed for a couple nights, at most.

Yes, it is different for you and me, without a doubt. In my case, I did something inherently wrong. I betrayed my M vows. In my heart of hearts, I know H had every right to kick my behind out of my bed. Why I am still out....well, who knows. That's an issue for my thread and one I don't particularly care to address at all. It's H's deal, not mine and quite frankly it doesn't bother me anymore, perhaps because I can see a light at the end of the tunnel as his attitude change has affected even his opinion on this issue I believe.
If you foresee being out of your bed four a couple nights at most, then I guess I'm not sure what the point of any of it is.

HD, I admire your loyalty to your W. I think you're a great guy. My only purpose was to boost your morale, which I apparently incorrectly perceived as sagging a bit.