Cat,
Thought I would bump into your thread to see whats up. HMMM...Picnic in the brain ehh? Someone invited some ANTS maybe. I think I will start backwards just for the sake of it.

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I must go on and be myself, but it mightl feel like I have this 3 foot long sword in my chest while I go about my business. Having a pity party now, so bear with me, i'm sure later I'll be fine and that these tears will let that sadness out and that I will soldier on tomorrow and smile when I get home.


Cat...you probably should be by yourself for now. I read you had fun dancing and that is perfect. I think what everyone was suggesting about giving him some time is right on. He is a damp sponge right now and needs to have some of his thought evaporate....give him air and watch him and yourself breathe.

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Yes, I understand. But right now, I'm crying, because this man I love doesnt love me. And i'm crying because no one else but you guys and maybe the C will hear this from me.
Stupid love songs.

This man doesnt love you? Hmmm...I admit I havent read through your entire library but I really dont get the impression that is true. I think he is being pulled from within like a "taffy pull" because he cant understand why his feelings stray to more than one person yet, he still wants you to be the "only" one. Time is your friend, let God or higher power take him in to counsel. Your job right now is stay focused on what you want ...dare I say, whether with him or not.
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Yes, I know it's all too recent, the "not just friends" book says that the first 2-3months are the hardest, when both partners are ambivalent. I almost wanted to shout to him "if you have feelings for her and none for me then go and leave with her".

Timelines, Timelines, Timelines.....they are the tools that can whittle away your self esteem. (I know this is true at least for me..I bare the scars to prove it). Where is this Timeline that follows all of us ? Everyone has a different timeline Cat. As much as it hurts, some have shorter yardsticks and others have longer ones. (this applies in nearly everything ) Try to listen to your own clock not that of others...(I need to pay close attention to this as well).
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For the second time, he's told me he feels no connection with me and that's why he didnt' think of appologizing, only to get rid of the problem at the time. His T told him he has a huge problem with confronting conflict, that the fact that I express myself better and he can't think that fast to answer makes him mad and he turns loud to back me off.

Because a person feels no connection with another from time to time doesnt mean they dont love you...it means that they have no starting point from within themselves to connect to another. to build a bridge, you need to start from the opposite shore...if he hasnt or failed to maintain it then that I believe is the problem he is relaying....let him build for awhile and if asked bring a tool or two. He will appreciate it. The problem confronting conflict I know all too well. I too share this malady and teh strange thing I noticed is taht it seems to create more conflict (I am trying to walk towards knowledge myself). By what I've read of you CAT, YOU seem to be the perefct person to help him deal with this....Time again needs to help you, not dismantle you.
There...I am done rambling and most likely just spurted nonsense anyway but at least it's something...and something is always better than nothing...peace