How to keep GALing from backfiring?

[lester]

I know some of you have read my posts and know a little about my sitch. But every time I go out she gets cold and immediately makes her plans to go out. Now I'm doing healthy GALing, book club or movies or minigolf not partying like a teenager and am reasonable. It's like I do this and she gets "revenge". I know GAL is for me but should I just D her? I mean this incredibly childish and I'm tired of being treated like crap doing minor things and having her pay me back by being out all day being a teenie bopper.

Any 180's, etc. that can change this pattern? I'm really not too interested in what she does because I know that feeds the A. But seriously, is she just hopeless? I don't want to be a babysitter for her to act single.

[Yoyowife]

Lester,
As I see it right now you can't change her. Live for yourself, make yourself happy, it will make you a much more attracative person to yourself, her and others. It might take a while, but try it.

[lester]

I know I can't change her. But damn it's making me wonder if she's worth it. I mean come on, she has everything in her name cuz she used to have better credit (now we both have good credit), only she has the bank password, and she gets pissed when I leave the house. Before this I wouldn't have thought about it but now I can see she really is a control freak.

[Yoyowife]

Lester,
They are definitely in a fog. They think they are entitled to the affair, the money, and their anger that they direct towards you. You have to take care and protect yourself. Only you can decide if you want to fight for your marriage. Sometimes it's too painful and hard.

In my case my husband has yet to show any remorse and he thinks he is entitled to more than his share of our assets including 100% of our business. I have a lawyer and accoutant to handle those unpleasant things for me.

[lester]

Look I don't want D, I do want to DB and fight for the marriage. But, I don't want to be a chump. Should I get a lawyer?

[lester]

and how do you set that up when we have a joint account that she'll know the minute I spend anything. I hate feeling trapped.

[Yoyowife]

Ask her for the password. You are entitled to it.

[lester]

I know you're right but I also know she'll be like why do you need that. I want to know what's going on with our finances so I can help pay the bills and generally know what's going on financially. Ohh man this will piss her off.

[Yoyowife]

Look what she has done to piss you off! She has very little regard for you right now. Theo and Husband please give him suggesttions!

[lester]

I'm not pissed just scared. If she wanted to she could wipe me out and she's the f up not me. I've been the stable one.