Heather, Good post. Looks like your eyes have opened. BTW, what do you mean by “cooperative” when you say
Oh and one more thing. If my H had been more cooperative, I'd have left his a@@. Just keep that in mind.
HD,
MrsHD is starting to flail in all directions. It will probably get worse. The more you stand steady and do nothing, the more she will try to get a reaction out of you and the more extreme her actions will become. Prepare for this HD. It think it would be good if you could somehow record what goes on when she hits one of these coming rages. This will be very touch and go and may feel wrong to you, but I say this for two reasons.
The first is that if you do D, then her lunatic actions will help your case. The other is that if you two stay together and try to work things out, she will absolutely not recall ever having acted as you see her. Her recollection of her actions will be completely opposite to the what actually happened and you will end up arguing over what the facts are instead of working on the M. That is how deep her denial runs.
But there is nothing that can shake her out of her denial like seeing herself go crazy on video. She will have no clue that she acts that way and says the things she says. While this may sound like an inflammatory tactic (and it is) it may be the one tool strong enough to open her eyes (a little). Of course you will have to decide how and when best to use that information. I never could do this on video but there were times I wish I had.
