I’m with Heather on his. You moving out and taking this “tough” stand to move on to D if necessary is not a hard stand at all. It is weak. You are still accommodating her. The hard stand is to tell her that bed is yours and you will sleep where you want. If she doesn’t like it then she can sleep elsewhere. You have never truly rattled the cage and now, just when things build to a crescendo and cage rattling time is staring you in the face, you back down again. She has effectively called your bluff.
As far as damage to the kids is concerned, only you can decide that. I am more concerned about your youngest. She is adopted. I think a broken home will be tough on her, plus I wouldn’t trust MrsHD to provide her a good role model when you aren’t around.
IMO, this is the time to put up the fight, not to run.
