Plank removed from eye, too late for WAW? 4

[Heimlich]

A 1080 LCD is more than I can afford (especially since I need a piece of furniture to put the damn thing on and I'm too old to use a card table now )

On the 42 inch, really couldn't tell the difference anyway unless I was really close. In general, I liked the LCD's better as well, just between the two I settled on, the plasma looks better. Wasn't tremendously reflective either. I was on the fence on the warranty, but you just pushed me over. I'll get it.

On a DBing note, did a little today.

My W sent me an email saying that she wanted to keep the two nightstands. Explained her reasoning, said she wasn't mad or anything, but still has a hard time saying these things to me.

I replied that I only wanted to take one until I found something else, but that's fine, I'll leave them both here. Also that I'm not trying to strip the house and that I think we've been fair with the split of things. Restated that I'm not angry at her at all, and then took a shot and said that I understand how you got emotionally where you are (done with me), I wish that it were otherwise, but that I'm largely to blame because I came to my realizations too late.

Got a one line reply back: "Thank you for listening"

1. I still think she thinks she's done. And she may very well never change her mind.
2. I'm not happy with that, but I'll be OK
3. She has NEVER replied to anything that I've written to her regarding emotions between us that was anything but, 'stop it'. First semi-positive things she's written.
4. I think, right now, she's just burnt out on me and the R because I hadn't changed (well, had changed for the negative) and doesn't believe I'm back to the old me. I still think she thinks it's an act.

Kindof funny, we were talking about the weekends with the girls and she was saying that I ought to take them somewhere on Sundays if it's nice. I said I might, or I might watch football. She said something else, and I replied, not in an angry way, that that's your opinion, but I don't really have to listen to it now. Maybe i will again one day, but not now. If I choose to spend a Sunday with the girls watching a football game, that's my choice.

Anyway,

BD

[dlt1]

Nothing wrong with football with D's. W doesn't get to dictate your quality time with them. Maybe make it a little tailgate for the 3 of you.

[oldtimer]

"Restated that I'm not angry at her at all, and then took a shot and said that I understand how you got emotionally where you are (done with me), I wish that it were otherwise, but that I'm largely to blame because I came to my realizations too late. "

---RESTATED... does that say anything to you??? Reintroducing R talk after you just finished R talk, what, TWELVE HOURS AGO????

Got a one line reply back: "Thank you for listening"

Well, that is polite. Clearly shows she is not interested in R talk. But, it seems you know that because you next wrote:

"I think, right now, she's just burnt out on me and the R"

WOULD YOU STOP OBSESSING OVER THE R AND MAKING HER TRY TO SEE IT YOUR WAY ALL THE TIME. YES YOU ARE TOO SO DOING THAT.

GEEZ. She has said she thinks time and space will be good for your R. You just want to make doubly sure it takes HER taking PLENTY of time and PLENTY of space, because you are sure going to make her work for both.

[oldtimer]

"My W sent me an email saying that she wanted to keep the two nightstands. Explained her reasoning, said she wasn't mad or anything, but still has a hard time saying these things to me."

"W, sure no problem. And thanks for trusting me by making the direct request :-)"

ENUF SAID.

[Nugget]

I got to back up OT here.

Restated that I'm not angry at her at all, and then took a shot and said that I understand how you got emotionally where you are (done with me), I wish that it were otherwise, but that I'm largely to blame because I came to my realizations too late.

4. I think, right now, she's just burnt out on me and the R because I hadn't changed (well, had changed for the negative) and doesn't believe I'm back to the old me. I still think she thinks it's an act.

Gosh H, how could she ever feel burned out with all the R talk with you??? You keep going back to and back to it back to it. It is like you are addicted to R talk. To bad there is not one of those shock collars they put on dogs that you could use and every time you started R talk it would shock you. I am sure the pain of the shock would hurt a lot less then the pain your constant R talk effects your wife.

3. She has NEVER replied to anything that I've written to her regarding emotions between us that was anything but, 'stop it'. First semi-positive things she's written.

Well H she does not respond because she does not have to or does not feel like it. Just because you want to talk about it does not mean she has to. It would be nice, that is for sure. But, obviously she does not respond for a reason. But, I am sure that does not stop you from writing her.

Kindof funny, we were talking about the weekends with the girls and she was saying that I ought to take them somewhere on Sundays if it's nice. I said I might, or I might watch football. She said something else, and I replied, not in an angry way, that that's your opinion, but I don't really have to listen to it now. Maybe i will again one day, but not now. If I choose to spend a Sunday with the girls watching a football game, that's my choice.

Kind of cocky and arrogant to feel this way IMHO. Is this the same attitude you had with her when you were together?

My comments are not to drag you down or to kick you PMA, just to give you an outsiders perception. Be it accurate or not.

[oldtimer]

BTW, I thought the bit about your plans with the girls was fine, even if it perhaps lacked a bit in tact.

[Not Much Left]

Anyone see that video of the guy with the shock collar? By the time he got to the highest level, it was hysterical! H, maybe u should wear one for kicks! Jk, saw the post and LOL!

[Heimlich]

Nugget,

Shock collar. Good line, man. Good points everyone. Couple of points of what I was thinking, for good or bad.

RESTATED... does that say anything to you??? Reintroducing R talk after you just finished R talk, what, TWELVE HOURS AGO????

The way my W worded her email, it was in such a way, and I think she's been feeling this, that she's just waiting for me to become angry. I know actions, speak louder than words. I wanted to tell her that she could tell me anything and the R talk in my email was limited to be basically saying, "i was an idiot. I accept responsibility for that. I don't blame you for this."

OT is right, though, a shorter reply would have done the trick.

OT, the funny thing is, I'm not obsessing over the R in my daily life, though it certainly seems so here.

The short reply from her seems like a little thing, but over the summer, before I read DB, I sent too many of the chasing type emails saying we could work it out, blah, blah. Never got anything back from those other than, basically, shut up. Her acknowledging my reply is a new thing. I DID NOT follow up with any R talk when she got home.

Nugget,
I wasn't asking her to respond, but getting in a short apology/acknowledgemnet/ownership of my role in our M hitting the toilet and that it is OK for her to just talk to me/ask me something. It wasn't a "let's talk about us" email.

Also, Wed night and the email were instigated by my W, not me (though, as I've said, a shorter email reply was merited).

On the football/Sunday thing. No, I've not been arrogant with her throughout our R, too much the reverse probably. Basically, she was telling me what I SHOULD be doing with my time with the girls. She's made comments like this off and on for a few weeks now. I'm quite tired of them because it is none of her business what I do with them when I have them. I just mini-snapped. Again, not angry or as arrogant as my original post made it sound, but my point to her was 'Butt out.' I think I phrased it as follows, "I hear what you're saying, but my time with them is my time with them. I know how you feel about sports and I've missed many Sundays doing family outings -- and enjoyed them. However, we no longer have the need to listen to each other about how we spend our time. Maybe we will again one day, but until then . . . " OK, so it wasn't as well said as that.

Anyway. 8 days until I can sleep in a real bed again. Hooray!

With moving this weekend and work next week, we won't be seeing much of each other for a bit. And that's a good thing.

BD

[Heimlich]

DL,

That's a good idea. When the weather gets bad, I'm going to do this.

Oddly enough, I actually agree with my W. I'll probably end up taking them places on Sundays. After all, there's a game on Sunday night and Monday. However, I don't want her to feel that she gets to tell me what I can or can't do and that's what it felt like.

BD

[Nugget]

Basically, she was telling me what I SHOULD be doing with my time with the girls.

Is she telling you what you should be doing with your time with the girls or is she just concerned about the girls doing something they would like to be doing?

She's made comments like this off and on for a few weeks now. I'm quite tired of them because it is none of her business what I do with them when I have them. I just mini-snapped. Again, not angry or as arrogant as my original post made it sound, but my point to her was 'Butt out.' I think I phrased it as follows, "I hear what you're saying, but my time with them is my time with them. I know how you feel about sports and I've missed many Sundays doing family outings -- and enjoyed them.

Alright H, you were there I was not, but to me your response has anger written all over it.

"However, we no longer have the need to listen to each other about how we spend our time. Maybe we will again one day, but until then . . . "

I bet you wife feels that you love and respect her for her opinion and concern for her daughters and how you will spend you time with them after a conversation like that.

However, I don't want her to feel that she gets to tell me what I can or can't do and that's what it felt like.

That is what you felt like, but was that her intention?

Again, maybe it is just me, but it seems to me your wife is concerned about the girls doing things they would like to do. She is thinking about their well being, not trying to control you or tell you what to do.

But, these are just the way I see it and they are just me opinion. I am not trying to contradict your thoughts or convince you of anything. I just see it differently. I apologize if I offend.