Disapointed,
Has H felt like a mug the whole time you have been together? Have the Girls always been an issue for him? If not Welcome to the MLC world!!!!!

The average they say is 2 to 5 years for MLC. My H was about 2 years(lucky for me).

It's very important for you to read and do what the Divorce Remeady books tell you to do. It won't be a gaurantee that your M will be saved but it is the best chance you have.

Read posts on this site, there really are a lot os sucsess stories here.I really don't think that many M's end up in D.

H may think you are burying your head in the sand but as you keep the changes going and create mystery he will start wondering.

Notice any positives(and you need to look for the smallest ones too) and keep track of what is and isn't working. Make changes that bring about reaction from H.

I don't think that we, or at least I lost any respect for H/'s because what you have to remember is that this is an illness and not something they wanted to happen to them either. Although they may think they want this stuff at the time.

They will be hurting once they realize what they have done.

Sit and think about the R and what you have done day in and day out and do something differant(180's) these things did bring about change In my H. IE: (initiating SE% or rubbing his back) these are things I knew he liked that I was just to tired to do but once I started things changed. It took months but those were just a couple of things amoung many that I did differant to help bring about change in what had become a mundane, same old M.

Your H won't offer clarity because there is none when it comes to MLC. HE may be able and willing to talk once he is through this. My H unfortunatly is not a talker so I may never hear anything about his journey to the unknown and how he feels about what happened to us through his crap. H also had an EA that I did confront him with.

I think your H should be proud that he stepped up to the plate and took over raising your girls when their dad couldn't be bothered. Have you told him that?

JAK

You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez