Lost and don't know what to do

[Amy]

Last night was his night with the kids. He never showed up. My 9 yr old beat his head in the wall crying until I calmed him and my 11 year old threw up all night. I am so tired of the disappointments they are filling. I keep telling them not to depend on him but then he promises he will be there.

I am ok when i am being hurt but hurt my kids and look out.

At 6:00 this morning I was running to dunkin donuts to get the not so healthy breakfast and found he was asleep in his car in his parents driveway. (4 houses away). I lost it.

I told him that he needed to be a better father than that and that if he felt the need to treat me like crap so be it but his kids deserved better. He then followed me home came in and fell asleep in his computer chair. Now he got up and is taking a shower. Of course last week I put all of his stuff out on the porch and made him take it so he asked me to go to his parents and get him clothes and my sorry rear did.

I feel like a puppet and he is the master. I guess this is why I feel I am going to throw the towel in early. My kids deserve more stability and my depression is getting worse and worse. Sometimes you have to know when to let go.

I love you guys for listening. I know I am a rambling bambling (not sure if thats a word) bundle of emotions that I can't begin to figure out so I know there is no way you can.

Hugs to you all and thanks for being there.