Amy, Do you want to talk to someone? If so, I'll be happy to post my email address here and you can email me your phone number and I'll call you. It's not often that I do this but you sound like you are in a very difficult place right now.
I'm here for you, just as everyone else is as well. Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
