Evidence of OM? What do I do?

[forward]

I disagree w/some of the snooping advice because this is, after all, a situation that concerns YOU. In my situation it enabled me to talk to L and take a day off work to face the situation.

I think once you find out, then it's probably better to stop snooping because it does just hurt. I've kept doing it but have to admit that I don't see evidence of any real changes for H and am beginning to doubt that there will be.

I saw the A coming probably a year before it happened. I also think that in my situation, confronting was not a bad idea. It takes the fun out of the affair--now it's just a dirty affair, not some glorious romantic dealy. Just be strategic--say something like "Is there anytihng you need to tell me?" And comment on something obvious, like "Who was calling here at 11:00 last night?"

Don't let on how you got the information because then the discussion would just divert to your snooping.