I am fascinated by what is happening in your M. I love that you are owning your space within your R. It is so good for you. You know how in martial arts you are taught that a wide stance is more stable? Well, when Heather takes up a wide stance in the M, I think the M becomes more stable. KWIM?
I HATE porn. I hate it because it is one of the great unknowns in the equation of my M. I am not puritanical about it, I do understand the appeal. My H has made it clear that he views it and sees it as normal. If he did that and also met my sexual needs occasional porn viewing would be fine. However, he doesn't and so it isn't fine. I don't know anything about the type and frequency of his viewing and I haven't spied in order to find out. The consequence of that is that I've probably waaaaaaaay magnified it in my mind. The consequence of not spying is that I don't know how worried or upset I should be. For the time being it is a factor in my M and I choose to let it remain so until I am ready to deal with it, until I am clear what my boundary is about this. Do I really think that a moratorium on porn will bring him to my bed? Not sure. My point? Good for you for figuring out where you stand and making it clear to him and yourself. I hope that it isn't a recurrent problem.
