Hi, I would tell her pleasantly and firmly that you can afford x amount of expenditure, and ask her if she can agree to limit herself to that. Try and get her invovled in this, but I do recognise that there is often something in the MLCbrain that appears to defy rational discussion. If she doesn't want to know, then tell her, again pleasantly [broken record, keep saying it] what you will have to do to protect the financial situation.[Though possibly not about unilaterlly moving money out of the joint account] Then you are not being underhand.
This is where DBing principles can be useful, both in demonstrating a 180 change [moving from passive to active] and also in not getting into an argument. Just state your position.
So many people hwere get angry and yell. It seldom does any good, and particuarly not with a MLCer who appears to thrive on drama.
Easier said than done. But whatever you don't sit by and notact because of upsetting her. Avoid unnecessary arguments and accusations, but where you ned to make a stand, makeone. As Snodderly has said elsewhere, in setting boundaries choose your fights wisely. Protecting financial assets seems to be such a fight.
