Bruce - I think MLCers know and don't know, if that makes sense. I think they are aware of what they are doing on one level, but don't connect emotinally with their actions.
I would question what her therapist is doing however. My C likes limited contract, objective based sessions for specific times, and then a review.
While it is good to reflect, remembe3r that we can never really know what is oging on inside another person's head, certainly on a day to day basis [We get clues about the wider issues from time to time].
Remember what an emotional rollercoaster you are on yourself dealing with this person, and their fallout. She is in the eye of the storm!
You are doing well, and sound like a great guy. Remeber that you need boudnaries, and don't let her walk all over you. MLCers are no respecters of people, for all they want respect themselves!!
