Force her to be vulnerable was the wrong choice of phrase. I guess it came out as "force her to be vulnerable" because I was equating the word force with strength. Through his strength she can become vulnerable. Once she has a sense of the firmness of his boundaries she can allow herself to feel vulnerability. There is a nice safe wall around her built by the strong hands of Hairdog and she can relax, become more vulnerable, become more feminine.
I am not saying any of this will be easy, because it won't and she will need IC as well as HD's new behaviours. The compassion that HD needs to show to her is not nice guy compassion, the compassion she is crying out for is for TOUGH love.
Fran
p.s. Thanks for the correction Hairdog It just goes to show that in this male dominated fcking paternalistic society the girl version would get overlooked huh.
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
