The weekend was okay ... didn't do anything exciting ... watched a couple of movies, went to dinner at a Japanese restaurant, church, etc. Then, on Monday, when H was supposed to return to the project, he was called and told not to go because the company has told the consultants to cease working, since the project went over-budget (the project manager wasn't keeping track). So, he is at home until further notice. In the meantime, he has resigned, and should be starting at his new job on Oct. 1.
So! Nothing too terribly exciting. Still waiting for the light to go on in H's head. Still trying to GAL ... went to a book club meeting last night in the interests of GAL, and it was enjoyable.
Sorry! Not much to report, 'eh!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Normal and boring is great, as long as one knows you're safe and secure (and happy) in your M.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
That's a very nice poem. As a woman slightly over 50, I welcome you to the age of maturity BeingMe. It's really not so bad once you get used to the idea that all men are not trying to get you into bed anymore. (That is a loss.) But my greatest pleasure now comes from the emotional detachment. Not having highs and lows and wondering why I feel a certain way. I am centered. So there is some good. Besides, we don't have a choice, do we? Happy birthday.
Yeah, no choice, but I hope I can have an attitude of acceptance, such as you, Sara. Um, I didn't know men were trying to get into bed with me ... not even my H (okay, that was pathetic, but I couldn't resist)! I hope the feeling of being centred isn't far away.
Thanks for the early birthday wish! Still a couple of weeks of being in my forties!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
going to bed...hmmm I believe that entailed some sexual activity at one time, I have a faint recollection...no, must be something I dreamed up. Silly me.
"Sexual activity"? What's that? Is it a new game (SA2000)? Wait, I think I remember something in the distant past too.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Had a dream recently where W was asked to answer a few questions that "only someone who was intimate with me" would know. She flunked, thank goodness it was only a dream. Do you have the link so I can download SA2000. Can't upgrade to SA2007, does not link with the current operating system. Need to get the latest drivers. Hopefully the SA2000 application is still supported by technical support. Will probably need to work through some of the patches, update the key codes then will probably be able to avoid a reformat of the hard drive.
Anyhow if I can get the SA2000, that I already paid for, to work. I won't have to go out, find a later version, re-format my hard drive, upgrade some of my hardware and put up with a lot of technical support. If this can work I won't have to nurse along my peripherals, change platforms and upgrade to a higher power source to run under the high demands of all the applications that are running.
Translation. Hopefully I can get the old relationship up and running like it should be or I'll have to purge the old R, get a new one, hope it works with all the kids, then figure some way to pay for what I couldn't afford already. Sound about right.
I haven't been able to journal my thoughts until today ... been in a weird mood. Anyway, here goes ...
On Friday, I had a bit of a mini-freakout. Told my H that perhaps we should just separate, since he is clearly not going to do a d*mn thing about his side of the M. He has been home for the past two weeks, and it's also driving me nuts. He has all this time now, after being away, where he can work on things, share with me how he is feeling about our s*x life, our financial life, and any other things he may deem as necessary for a happy M. But, he chooses to get himself busy with other stuff. Oh well! His choice. I gave him the space to sort out his job sitch, which I think is now sorted, and still he ignores what I have asked of him.
I guess I'm just going to have to accept that he is incapable of change, and that I must either stay and be happy with what I have, or move on, and see if there is a better life for me away from him. It just seems so unfair, that he has the EA, and I am the one doing all the changing and trying to understand him and his needs, and he just goes happily along, taking me for granted .... AGAIN! Ugh! As long as I don't rock the boat, he is happy.
Well, I am sorry, I need more from life, and certainly more from my M. I don't expect wine and roses all the time, but the occasional attempt at a little romance would really be nice. To feel, that he actually notices that I am a woman, not just a wife and mother. Too much effort for him, I suppose.
I was in a better mood the rest of the weekend. A little more withdrawn, and detached. He thinks that if I am quiet and not saying anything about our M, that everything is fine. But, it's not, and one day, I'm not going to talk anymore, just leave (or, ask him to leave). Then, it will be too late for him to try. I won't be interested anymore. In fact, that day is fast approaching. I was just wondering the other day, if I really still loved him, as a H, and I really am not sure.
Okay ... vent over!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
