Thanks for your insights. Several points you raised hit my WAW dead on. She's spending money on herself like crazy, and seems to be focused on building herself physically. As some may know from another thread I started, she came into the house three weeks ago when I was there 15 minutes later than I said I'd be and immediately yelled "Why are you still here? You're being selfish!" TAlk about projection!!!!! She did quickly apologize. She knew I was there yet chose to come in rather than drive off. She would have had a point had I camped out for several hours daring her to come in and talk to me.
She's in therapy (has been for years) but something in her has taken a turn in a sharply different direction the past few months (even before the separation occurred--exercise, diet, clothes, car, the usual stuff; no sign of OM yet). I think it's all tied somehow to her long abiding fear of death. I'm part of that puzzle/problem given my failures/issues, but the more I read and try to piece this together, the more this MLC/change angle makes sense.
She has had serious self esteem issues from long before I met her. In one of the few phone conversations we had where some deeper stuff came up, she told me she thought I needed to go examine myself and she needed to work on self esteem for why she put up with some of my emotional neglect. Well, that's part of the picture, but I feel it's far too one-dimensional in terms of what we need to do to build a new marriage. She's made great strides in the past few months, but her framing of the issue that way really has me thinking that when she talks about my faults (and there are many) she's not acknowledging, at least not to me, the other dimensions of this crisis. It's possible she's aware of them but isn't sharing. Or does the MLC really ever know? My WAW is smart as hell, and she's in therapy, so I wonder if she's aware of some issues but behaves in certain ways regardless. Anyone have any insights if that is possible for MLC?
Thanks to everyone posting; you help me more than you know.
