You're head must be spinning with all this. When Lil asked how much Ms.HD is drinking I had already begun to think back about the irrational sh!t I have had to deal with from my H. Your whole sitch just gave me this uneasy feeling about how abusive she is being towards you. I went back and read over some of my old threads from about a year ago. The ones where I started to wake up and realise just what exactly I had been putting up with for so long. Whether you term it "war" or "boundary setting" or "self-esteem" or whatever there comes a point where you will just stop letting her treat you as a punching bag. The point that happens is up to you HD. For me it started after a particularly bad row and H attempted to patch it back up with sex. I turned him down. Having posted here for a couple of years complaining about no sex in the M I turned him down. And that was the turning point for me. The point where I realised that the palliative crumbs he was throwing for me didn't cut it.
It precipitated a crisis, but I survived. You will too HD. The thing to be on the lookout for is the nice behaviour. If MsHD has done you wrong DO NOT ACCEPT the nice behaviour as recompense for the wrong doing. Stay angry.
I know, it's hard.
Mojo's analysis does seem to be spot on.
Here's a cyberhug {{{HD}}}
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
