not threaten D, but make it clear that he won't tolerate this cr*p anymore
Well, from what I know of Mrs HD, it will be VERY difficult to pull that off without the threat of D, or at least S. I doubt my H would have been able to take a firm stand without taking a drastic measure. Why? Because that was just not his personality. I doubt it is HD'd either. Nice Guys have a very hard time with this whole boundary issue. And frankly the women they are M to (such as myself and Mrs HD) can be quite bitchy. Doubt we'd believe a word without some major action. S did it for us and it CAN work. I'm not advodacting that just saying it is not always the worst thing to do, in fact it can sometimes turn things around.
LFL
I agree with you on this...but he has to ready to really file for D if he threatens it. Choc was ready...no more of the cr*p he had been dealing with. He was fully prepared to take it all the way...and HD I am afraid just won't do that. People have different amounts of cr*p they will endure...Choc was just, well, choc full.
My sister, as I said earlier, was Mrs. HD's twin, all the way. And yes, after her ex filed for D, she fell apart to no avail. It was over...so absolutely, worse case scenenario would be to file, but with the intention of going through with it. Because she might not back down...but definitely her loss for sure.
Doubt we'd believe a word without some major action. S did it for us and it CAN work. I'm not advodacting that just saying it is not always the worst thing to do, in fact it can sometimes turn things around. 
