Lil, during the brief vacation, she and I split a six pack over the course of four days, so very little drinking. On the night we returned, (as I had noted, I imbibed too much) she drank about 3 glasses of wine, or about 1/3 bottle. Yeah. Seems like a lot to me. The thing is, she had really curtailed her drinking when she started this diet, but lately, her 'usual' is about 2 glasses of wine.
And, for what it's worth (it may make no difference, it may make a lot), what she said about the college fund was specifically, that she was done putting any more of "her" money into their college funds. (I know, I didn't specify the "her" in my original post). So, how does she calculate this as "her" money? She puts a certain amount in (which varies) each month, and it is keyed to however much extra she makes (due to her variable billable hours) over and above her basic threshold.
My pay is static. Hers is variable. Still, to me this is just a bit of budgetary logic. College funds need to be a part of the budget. I'm prepared to confront her on this; to tell her that I intend to have a set amount of $$ come directly out of my salary into the college fund. If she wants to talk at that point about how she didn't mean it (unlikely), or whatever, I'll figure out where to go from there.
Unlike an intact family situation, I have more than just a moral obligation to pay for my older kids' college education. The divorce decree ordered me to pay it (and State law supports that). So...was it an attack on my kids? Well, kind of. Was it an attack on me? Yes. She was saying, in effect, "you NEED me to pay for your kids' college, and I'm not gonna!" This is where I say it is "budgetary logic." It's a way of her showing that she's in control of this line item. Of course, unless she intends to divorce me, her attack on me also ends up attacking her -- we, as a couple, are legally obligated to pay for college. I suppose we could totally separate our finances and stay married, but either way, $X are coming out of the budget and it's definitely better for both of us if they come out now and have a chance to grow, rather than to have to take out loans and pay interest on that.
Very little communication last night. I did end up sleeping in our bed - showing up after she did. I just figured, damned if I'm going to let her spook me out of our bed, if that is what she's trying to do. And heck, if she does file some charge against me (unlikely), I can handle that.
