That is right and I must say that this morning has just confirmed my resolve to accept that he is gone and may not come back.
Today is our S's first day of pre-school. He is so excited. Well we met at the school and dropped him off. He was on cloud nine that little man of mine so happy to be a big boy and in school. Well Grumpy Daddy just stood in the other room. It was so weird and ackward. Then when we were leaving I was crying and he just laughed at me and then we got in our separate cars and off we went. In my worst nightmares I never imagined our S's first day of school going that way. He hurt me a lot this morning so I have realized that I need to just move on. Hopefully things will work out for the best and if the best means we go our separate ways as we did today then that is what it is going to be.
I must say now that I am done crying I do feel this sense of calmness that you told me about. It is quite liberating to say the least. Will it last probably not? I think I am just really mad right now at him but he does not know that so I am still DB'ing up a storm.
