why don't I listen to my own stories?

[Trixi]

Real Estate is CRAZY. 10-14 hour days. I am SO pooped.

H called today to say that he had to work Friday night (yes, I believe him) and then was getting a sports massage saturday around 1, so he wouldn't be able to help move DD. When I called to tell DD that we needed to switch to Sunday, she got upset (understandably) so I am going to do it by myself on Saturday (with the help of some of her guy friends.)

What was interesting to me was just how disappointed I felt. I totally blew DB and was like "oh. bummer. Are you still taking Friday DAY off? Are you coming over Saturday after your massage?" He said he wasn't sure; we'd have to play it by ear; he'd probably come by on Saturday. *sigh* I wish I had been like "ok. Thanks for letting me know. Hope your back feels better soon." and not asked when he would come over. UGH!

I feel like our time together is so limited, I don't want to plan over the top of "potential" time together. My intellect knows that is terrible idea; my emotions say otherwise.

Now I reminded just how much I miss him and wish he was home; but I kinda don't want him home just yet.

I am also going thru the "even if he came home, how would I know that he was not going to walk out again later" phase. I did mention Retrovaille this past weekend..oh dear, maybe that scared him. He did say that maybe we were moving too fast. (not during the Retro convo.) How could I have forgotten that??

ARGHHHH!