Plank removed from eye, too late for WAW? 4

[oldtimer]

There is probably an unprotected wireless network you can hop onto no problem...

[Heimlich]

LOL. I was actually just thinking that very thing. Going to bring over my laptop in the next day or two and see if that works.

[dlt1]

Hey H! Wow, nice to hear you are in a good place and finding some good things from W .stick to your guns on the apt and getting in as quickly as possible. Not sure if W will come to you more as the day grows nearer, but don't grab her if she does. Definitely will need more time with the S. Not trying to bring you down, just want to be sure your PMA keeps going as you get to your bad pad.

[Heimlich]

Thanks, DL, read a bit of your sitch earlier, glad your leg is getting better. Sounds nasty.

No, I'm committed to moving out. Even if she were to say "move back" in a month or so, I'd stay out for a bit longer. It'll be good for us.

Hope she says that

Working on the bad pad over the weekend. I'll be fully in weekend after. A Sunday of games in HD. Woo effing Hoo!

BD

[Puddle]

Heim, have you been looking into fake bearskins for the floor and lava lamps? I'm picturing a serious bachelor pad, but your Saints memorabilia might not fit in. Maybe a florescent Bud Light sign?

Make sure it's all kid-friendly, though. I know my kids would dig the bearskin, anyway. Do you have a fireplace?

[Heimlich]

LOL. You forgot about the orange shag and the hanging bamboo beads. Lava lamp. Check (I love it so. Mesmerizing.) I also have a bean bag chair (actually, a giant lumpy love seat sized bean bag thingy stuffed with two foam filled queen sized mattresses. Super comfy for 1. xbox, 2. football, and 3. um, other things ) No can do on the Bud Light sign. Life is too short to drink or support bad beer. Sadly, no fireplace.

Lost it a little bit tonight. Our girls disappeared into a neighbors house without telling either of us (NOT happy about that) just before dinner. Obviously, scared us both a little. Figured they were somewhere, but one never knows. Anyway, was pissed at the girls for doing that. That transformed itself, somehow, into sadness while we were eating dinner. W could tell something was bothering me. I couldn't even identify what was bothering me, just felt vaguely sad and out of sorts.

Got the girls in the tub and I was about to leave to pick up a few things and drop some more stuff at the apt (yes, legs are starting to rock) when she asked me what's wrong. For some reason, I almost lost it. Said some variation of the following:

I feel like I've failed you and I feel like I failed the girls. I wanted better for them than to have divorced parents. I really am ready to move out and am excited to do so. I'm also ready to live my life without you. At the same time, and this is hard to explain much less understand, I still would prefer that at the end of this road that I come home to you. Not because I need you, but because I want to be with you. I finally feel like I can be the partner you deserve, but I feel like I let the opportunity slip through my fingers because for the year that you were open to being with me, I was blaming you for our problems and angry with you over the A. I'm honestly not mad at you, which makes this even worse because if I had had the same understanding I have about myself today 7 months ago, i think we'd be well on our way to being happily married. I'm sorry, but I still love you very much and want to end up with you. At the same time, I'm OK if we don't because I know that I didn't give you a reason to stay around for a long while. And I'm sorry for that. I can't bring myself to blame you for checking out. Part of me hates opening up to you because I just feel that you think I'm trying to manipulate you. I wish you could look inside of my head and see the truth.

That's all jumbled, but that's the gist of it.

Part of me wishes I had just walked out the door, part of me is glad I said it. I hadn't opened up to her in the past few years. We'll see how she acts over the next few days. Don't know where it came from, I feel good. I am ready to move out. I guess it's starting to hit me what it's going to mean to our girls and that's upsetting me. We both teared up a little. She gave me a pretty good hug after. Then I left for my shopping excursion.

On a happier note, think I've about decided on the TV.

Also, just realized, she asked me what was bothering me. Can't remember the last time she did that.

BD

[Not Much Left]

H
If it came from your heart, which it did, it will be OK.

What kind of TV? I am an expert, I promise, I know more about AV equip than most professional AV guys sad to say. Spent too much $ on this stuff, research everything, sort of my hobby.

I think the asking what's bothering you is a decent sign, my W has been doing this as well. And I TOTALLY get the feelings that you cant put your finger on, just "out of sorts".

Goodnight bro
C

[Puddle]

(((Heim)))),

Doesn't sound bad at all. She asked how you were doing (new) and you opened up (new). You weren't angry, you didn't blame her, you owned your responsibility. Doesn't matter how she responds, though for you, of course, I hope it helps.

Life is too short to drink or support bad beer.

Amen, brother. I'm a Spaten girl, myself, though I'll drink a Warsteiner or Bitburger in a pinch. Chimay's good, too, though deadly.

Take care.

[Heimlich]

Thanks Puddle and CVA,

Like I said, I guess it's just really hitting me how this is going to affect our girls. I know they'll be OK, it just sucks for them. Of course, who knows what the hell is going to happen. I was pretty hard to live with for a while and I do believe that she's noticed the changes. She's just so damn pig-headed stubborn once she makes up her mind.

CVA, was looking at Best Buy last night. After looking at a number of TVs and comparing price v picture quality v size of my room, I've decided on the Samsung HPT4254 - 42" plasma TV. Great contrast versus the LCDs I was looking at and less blur for football. Almost went with a 50 inch sony plasma that was about 1K, but it's just too big for the room. Got decent reviews on Amazon and couple of other spots I forgot to bookmark. Any thoughts on that one?

BD

[Not Much Left]

I really like the 1080 Samsungs. I have one in my (our) bedroom. For the money and contrast, I like Samsung the best. I also just like the LCDs better than Plasma as the technology has gotten better (blacker blacks), plus they do not have the reflection of a plasma which generally all have high gloss screens.


If you are going Best Buy, get the warranty, its worth it.