But I think the same way as you, H gets alone time with our kids (since I work at night), he gets to go out all weekend, because I'm watching the kids and can't tell him to stay home (per DB), and I bring in good money. But in all those mention of good things, where do I land? The schmuck that is left at home, unwanted by her own H. Kids needs are met (thank God, don't get me wrong), H's needs are met, what about us? The LBS? We get eggshells and elephants in the room.
I think somethin's gotta give in our house too. H knows all too well I want this to work out, so he is in control.
Yes, I find that reading other people's sitches has sort of gotten me through the turmoil, knowing that others are going through similar, sometimes even worse.
At least I have my health, a beautiful daughter, great house (after we sell we will both have enough to invest in smaller homes), great job, fantastic friends and a few "dreams" that W would not let me do when we were married.
So all in all, it could be a whole lot worse. We should be thankful for what we have had, and what we have got.
Ok, you are so right. I have my health, my kids are healthy, happy, fed, and clothed. I have a great job with security. We have a great house (that would also help us to buy smaller homes if needed). Ok, you are soooo right. It could be worse, and actually worse is happening around me (sick friend with cancer, severely depressed bil, etc).
I have to grudgingly admit that I am thankful H is healthy and a wonderful father. If we do separate/divorce, I will never have to worry about my girls' safety or happiness while they are in his care.
I am grateful for what I have. Thanks for reminding me.
Had a talk to W about the future (selling house, moving, finances, DD etc). Went for about 1 and a half hours. Very friendly, but idiot me had to go on about OM. I just wanted her to think about where it could head and how he was treating her.
Apparently, they don't talk on the phone hardly ever, it is all txt msg and email (when they are not together). She pays her own way when they go out (which is another thing that sounds strange, when we were dating, I would not have her pay anything). Also, eventhough they are in a PA, she has hardly spent any nights at his house (I think maybe none, only when they go away out of town). All this just stinks "booty call". But W can't see this.
And all the things she said I let her down on, he will not be able to "step up". Also, many of the things that I did for her, he does not do.........go figure. Her reasoning "Some people are brought up differently". I think it is a lame excuse.
Then she started asking me whether I had anyone, and "recommending" women to me (that we both know, and some from my work). And she even told me that I could bring one home on Saturday night as she and DD will be spending the night at SIL. (I told her I was meeting up with someone for dinner on Sat, that is how the topic came up). I declined the offer.
All too weird.
I ended the conversation with "Everything is fixable", hoping that this may be the slight opening of the door if she decides to come back. I think in her mind, after the conversation, it is a lost cause for her after everything she has done and all the family members that have been alienated. Also she is so stubborn and has a huge ego, that she would rather continue with OM to prove everyone wrong.
Anyway, just had to vent this, thanks for reading. Hope everyone is having a wonderful day AndyV
Of course she wants you to find someone, it would alleviate her guilt. UGH She sounds like OM has her really snowed and yes, stubborn enough to stick with her plan. Plus this plan for her is easy because she is protected, and if you leave/she leaves, she doesn't have to watch you be hurt.
I can't ever keep the talk off OW, so I hear ya on that one.
