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cali,,
i feel you... checking out for awhile sounds good. I need a break too..

TAL


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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Last week turned out really nice for me. H was out of town for 7 days, I was on my own and it felt fanfreakingtastic. I was feeling very good being by myself. However, in the middle of the week, I realized this was not nearly the same as actual separation and I don't think I'd feel the same way. Make sense?

But yes, last week it was so nice walking into the house and not walking onto any eggshells or into any elephants that are forever in our rooms!

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Kali Offline OP
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well H and I had a pretty heated discussion that basically just shows me that he still holds so much anger and resentment toward me. he also told me something that he would only know if he was reading here, so I believe my anonymity has been blown. I am not sure what to do? do i stop posting here or what?

also found out today from a 'heads up' from H that OW will be at work at the same time as me. This will be interesting, I guess I will just hang out in the back offices.


Kali

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No you may NOT stop posting here. I would miss you so much!!! How did H even know about this site? Do you really think he's been on here? What an invasion of privacy. I am sorry!!!

I hear a lot about anger and resentment too. 100% my fault we are where we are. Its hard to listen and not laugh at that, but I just listen and nod. It hurts to hear, and hurts even more that they actually believe this.

Why is OW going to be on your turf? HMPH!

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Originally Posted By: lwb
No you may NOT stop posting here. I would miss you so much!!! How did H even know about this site? Do you really think he's been on here? What an invasion of privacy. I am sorry!!!


Well I made the mistake of leaving the browser window open to this site once when I ran to pick up the kids. He surprised me by going to the house and waiting for them, he got here early. So I am not sure of what he said if it was in reference to the post that happened to be open at the time or if he has actually been reading. I guess I can dig back through my posts cuz I know what day it was he saw it on the screen.

Originally Posted By: lwb
Why is OW going to be on your turf? HMPH!


Oh you didn't know? OW works with me and H. We all three work at the same place, and since they are two consenting adults our employer can not do anything other then not schedule us at the same time. But she is a supervisor, as well as my H and tomorrow we are being walked by other locations so she has to be there, right when I am scheduled. This will be the first time, and I think I will be fine, but I have a feeling it will make all my co-workers just a bit uncomfortable.


Kali

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Oh barf! So you get to have OW thrown in your face all the time like I do??!! I am so sorry!!! And sorry for those around you, its like their support is nice, but sometimes pity is hard to swallow!! GROSS to your H carrying on like that. Work is my escape and I can't imagine it being 'tainted' like yours. But then again, a lot of other things are tainted by my OW.

Maybe if you can line up the days and if you said that on the day he was there, you'll be good to go. I erase my history every single day at home. I haven't typed anything here that H couldn't read, but its my outlet, not his.

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Hey cali,

could it have been through your m=space?.

I hope I didn't cause any problems for ya.

Husband


And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know
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No, Manual. Actually I did delete that photo comment for fear of him figuring it out. I know he saw the post, but now that I think of it, I don't think he can remember which board it was on, or what my screen name was.

I just got off the phone from my best friend and I told her what he said, she ever so gently reminded me that what he referred to was exactly what I was saying yesterday. He was here with the kids and I was hiding out in my room on the phone with her. Sometimes I talk louder then I think I am, lol. But I was talking about I feel it is so unfair sometimes that I am here doing the majority of everything, while he gets to run around with his girlfriend and have fun. His comment to me today was that it isn't all fun and excitement for him, so don't assume that.

So I feel safe for now posting, although I may change my signature just a bit. ;\)

lwb, luckily work has made it so we can not work the same shift and she has been told by management (as per my H) that she is to stay as far away from me as possible. Tomorrow I will go in and hold my head high, do my job and not worry, because I did nothing wrong. Right?


Kali

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YES!! Despite of how we feel (I feel like the yucky, old, 2nd choice, a consolation prize that goes with the kids), we are the better person, we are the faithful and dedicated ones. Deep down, in the dark, OW knows what kind of person she has become.

We haven't done anything wrong. Head high, smile on your face, no matter how forced it is. So glad your work is making it as easy on you as possible.

Last edited by lwb; 09/06/07 03:15 AM.
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Originally Posted By: LeftInCali
Tomorrow I will go in and hold my head high, do my job and not worry, because I did nothing wrong. Right?


Why should you feel bad? YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. In fact if you can act really happy at work. You can give her that 'I know what you did look" but do it with a smile. It makes them nervous.
After my first D my X keep going to my hang out. I stopped going. (Had the baby and 3yo to take care of.) I don't know if ya remember but she left me with them for her life on drugs. Anyway one day I got a baby sitter and went there anyway. I had a blast. I ever danced with her sister who was there. I started going back regularly when I could get a sitter and she stopped going.
Husband


And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know
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