tonight, I had my son call my W to tell her how excited he was about the jazz combo he is in this year. She said she was worried about losing contact with son, since she lives in another state with my daughter (see above for background), and I had said I would try to help them stay connected, as she would help me stay connected to my d.

Afte son and W talked, I talked a bit to my W. I joked about how bad the crab cakes i cooked were (she's a great cook and we miss her cooking, although I'm pretty good and getting better. I actually started her cooking) and asked about her day. She wanted to know when my son's jazz concert would be, so we looked it up quickly on line. It turns out it's the same time she has a conference. She wants me in her state to take care of d while she is at the conference, meaning I'll miss my son's concert.

these things happen, but she said something like "oh well, I guess there's nothing we can do about it" and I immediately thought "you could come back home and reunite our family" and I laughed. She asked what I was laughing about, but I politely refused to tell her.

And that, dear reader, is what I'm angry about. I shouldn't have to miss my d's concerts, plays, etc, and my son should have his mother at his concerts, plays, sporting events, etc. She did this, my W did this. She separated us and split up the kids for her selfish reasons. (and I let it happen )

my anger has dissapated fast. I know my role in this. It's not fair, doesn't feel fair.

the clincher, perhaps, is after talking to my W, I talked to my D to say good night and see how her day was, etc. She didn't feel like talking, just I love you dad, got to go. I miss her. I miss her a lot.

I don't blame her at all. I just hope we don't grow apart.


M45, W45,S15, D10,
Bomb 10/3/06, Moved back in 11/6/06, finally ILY 9/07
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